cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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