I wanna passion pit in your ass
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
