All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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