I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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