hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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