Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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