ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize