hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
