he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
