i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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