Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
