Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I understand Curling. That high.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
