I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
