Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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