if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
