The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
