I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
