Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
