it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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