I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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