She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
