you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
