Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
