so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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