The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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