How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am available for nakedness
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
