Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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