ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You can't motorboat a personality
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
