Jerry, you need to find god
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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