How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
