is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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