So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
