5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
