a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize