Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My pussy is not your playground.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
