You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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