One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
