So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
