with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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