his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
