your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
