I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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