He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
