your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
