I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
