Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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