some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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