all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
