return my video game
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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