i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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