They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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