Don't make out with my wife yet
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
