His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
