Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
