the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
