So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
