That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize