We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
