TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
